Travel nightmare

[lovetravel]

hi,

It nice to have such a forum where one can find travel partners/companions

But l like to suggest one do excerise caution and pls do meet up a few times before planning the travel.In order to enjoy the travel,both must give n take,compromise and have consideration for the other party.

l am saying all this cause l hv a bad travel experience with a new friend l jus met n we went on a 10 days shanghai/hk travel.

She is bad tempered,fast temper,littel things flared up.Everything must be the lst one,bath lst,eat lst,etc
We hv a free trolley bag from the travel agency unfortunately only one n she jus take it without even asking me.
Very blur everything l must help her,do for her. sian

[terryseow]

Hi,

I'm fully understand how you feels....
This happens at time..For me,the first meeting also turn up well.But the moment,we landed,the problems starts.
My worst experience is my other buddy (yes! from SGTravel ),was totally not happy about everything,walk too far,spend too much on Hotel and eat too expensive.Basically a stingy people!
End up,I left her alone and check out the Hotel in the middle of the night.

After that time,I travel alone and still feels good to be alone.

Terry

[Hiker.DC]

I had 2 very nice travel buddies in my 2010 trips ( both guys from sgtravelcafe; both I have not known before; both we will remain as friends). We had different travel budget, but it turned out fine. We met / communicated few times before the trip, and somehow our personalities compliment each other in the trips. So for those looking for travel buddies in the forum, it does work ! You should iron out some key personality and budget differences before the trip commitment; tell your travel buddy your good AND bad habits !!! You cannot hide oneself if you are travelling together, esp for prolonged periods, so it's better to be upfront ! Travelling together is the best way to know another person and to make a new good friend !!  

Terry : if she spent excessively on hotel and on food, then she is not stingy ??!!

[lovetravel]

All is not lost.of cos there are gd n bad as in everything..jus post here to let known so in future those looking for buddy to travel,do meet up,get to know.set guidelines,etc.  One shld learn to give n take,compromise a bit.After all its jus for travel,all are out to enjoy,so dont let small things spoil the trip. 

To travel togather is to save cost on airtickets n hotel,so after tat both can go separate ways to enjoy shopping,sightseeing,etc on their own if really cant agree on cost,etc. l like to do that alone so l can take my time,not rush2 for the other party,see things l dont like,do things l dont like jus to be togather.agree?

[terryseow]

All is not lost.of cos there are gd n bad as in everything..jus post here to let known so in future those looking for buddy to travel,do meet up,get to know.set guidelines,etc.  One shld learn to give n take,compromise a bit.After all its jus for travel,all are out to enjoy,so dont let small things spoil the trip. 

To travel togather is to save cost on airtickets n hotel,so after tat both can go separate ways to enjoy shopping,sightseeing,etc on their own if really cant agree on cost,etc. l like to do that alone so l can take my time,not rush2 for the other party,see things l dont like,do things l dont like jus to be togather.agree?

Agree but I'm not in the good luck to find a good buddy yet.So most of the time,I travel alone.

Terry

[calvin2224]

I prefer to travel alone too. This way, one has more time and is more committed to immerse in the local culture and natives probably find you more approachable too. One's focus is on the environment and not one's partner. I can also indulge myself and there is no need to compromise whatsoever. For example, I am into museums very much, thus it may be difficult to find a partner who is as interested. I know a friend who is crazy about trains. He would take trains over any other mode of transport, even if it is less convenient. 

[WuffRuff]

hi,

It nice to have such a forum where one can find travel partners/companions

But l like to suggest one do excerise caution and pls do meet up a few times before planning the travel.In order to enjoy the travel,both must give n take,compromise and have consideration for the other party.

l am saying all this cause l hv a bad travel experience with a new friend l jus met n we went on a 10 days shanghai/hk travel.

She is bad tempered,fast temper,littel things flared up.Everything must be the lst one,bath lst,eat lst,etc
We hv a free trolley bag from the travel agency unfortunately only one n she jus take it without even asking me.
Very blur everything l must help her,do for her. sian

Did you sign a binding contract with her that you must travel with her for the whole 10 days?
I believe not right?
So then... what's the problem?
If she is such a bitch and if you don't enjoy travelling together, then don't. Just go your own ways.
Noone is obliged to stay with their travel buddy. If things don't work out well for the travel partners, there is no point travelling together. Better off on your own.

[lovetravel]

hi
its a 10 days packaged tour to shanghai,same group,same hotel room,hw to avoid her.Of cos when we reached a destination,l go about myself or with other tour members.  In order to enjoy the tour since l am there n paid,cant escape.l excerise tolerance,try to be nice,dont calculated so much n got thru n back with a sour taste in my mouth hehe.

For a female to travel alone is not so advisable.And its more costly too. l am afraid to stay in hotel room alone.

[zoossh]

hi, terry, perhaps personal data or hints of such can be kept aside, when unhappiness are based on impressions. opinions do occur, so while u may think someone else is thrifty, someone else may think u r splurging. i've being in groups as the middle ground and i do see people on the two extremes and maybe sometimes i'm that extreme. though i wasn't in your trip and i can't and should not discredit your personal experience, we probably can have some understanding that certain disagreements at times is about differences, rather than faulted on individuals.

years down the road and when we look back, things may not seem that bad. i also have had some unpleasant encounters before, not necessarily not my fault.

[zoossh]

one of the factor some people go into backpacking is that they wanted to keep their trip a budget and they wanted to spend like a local do and perhaps experience like what a local do. that is of cos not the only way to do backpacking, not that who is wrong or right, but rather just differences not reconciled.

i'm offering the other point of view, as i think the discussion might get lop sided.

i've done solo and grps. ppl come and go - and i learn new things with every trip. i'm sure there are opinions that arises. sometimes it is just differences. the other times, defects in personality trait can come in you or the other or both. who knows the other person being complained on, is actually the one who is more tolerant, and just didn't voiced it out, whereas the other person who feel frustrated may not have enough self-awareness.

it is probably easier to coordinate for me, as the group is usually at least 3-4 in size. u dun clique well with one, you can do so with another (which is exactly the issue many of you guys faced - in pairs. i did it once and only once - and i have to fall out with a personal friend after the trip, as it involves ethics). if the group is 4 or more, very easy to split in pairs, or if one wants, split alone. we still move as a whole, but once we hit a location, there's flexibility to split and meet at arranged times. and since the interest i stated very clearly is photography, so there is some kind of common interest and goal at least. and we do meet before hand, each person gets to plan for a location and gets to choose things they like, while having to settle for some give and take for the other location.

i feel that in group travel, you benefit in certain ways but it is a give and take situation. i have travelled alone before but due to some near death incident and knowing of few who travelled solo but died overseas, i prefer to travel in group so that if something happened, you have someone with u or there is someone who can link up with your family which will take off some stress of the family having to coordinate things in a foreign place.

i think one major deciding factor between travelling alone or with pairs/groups - is how much/far one is ready to compromise vs how much/far compromise is needed for that trip. generally for new backpackers, it is better to start off with a bigger group where you have a part to play - get some experience and learn planning - then later get into solo or pairs.

as for girls, please do not share a room alone with a man you do not know well, in a trip that is only the two of you. some people may think they have good EQ and they can tell who's good and bad simply by meeting few times, and they may think they are independent enough and will be able to cope with situations. well, on the other side... though guys may not necessarily be able to protect u when facing new situations themselves, they are a little more likely to give in to u. 

[lovetravel]

Of cause,definitely,only look for female travel buddies.If not jus asking for trouble hehe. Jus sharing my experience. not all bad like l said. we learn day by day.A bit of tolerance,compromise n gv n take goes a long way in life.

[wing]

initially when i read your subject, i thought it is going to be a story about being robbed at gunpoint or somewhat likely.

i think there is no perfect travel companion. sometimes you just have to make agreements beforehand on the aspect of traveling alone in the country. no point dragging someone along their heels so as not to be alone. the world is probably not as scary as what everyone thinks. well other than the fact that singapore have a lot of slashing incidents (who knows what else they hid from us) and people still can consider it as safe whereas for other countries its just minor theft and they still think it is safer to stay in singapore. (hell no, i don't think singapore is dangerous. just an example how people could be wrong about the the other countries)

ok i digress, but truth is, i prefer to go to places i really love alone, even in singapore. so that i could take my time with pictures. 

so probably, having a bad travel companion and then you have to stick with her/him, is indeed the true nightmare of any travelers!